Comparison, the Dangerous Habit

Look all over social media. What do you see? There are countless amounts of comments spreading hate because of individuals who are filled with jealousy and envy. Jealousy can ruin relationships with friends and sometimes even family. At school, you see kids covering up their graded assignments, discouraged while hearing the conversations of the kids behind them talking about how easy it was.

Sometimes I feel like it is a natural human behavior to compare ourselves to everything and everyone. Maybe I am wrong, but regardless of your personal or financial position in life, it is important to remember that although it seems like everyone is having life handed to them, that everyone has their own struggles and personal issues.

It is the people in my life that have allowed me to see the importance of changing the easy way of comparing and turning it into happiness or even admiration for that person and how far they have come. It is okay to want something, and it is even better to work towards something you want to become or accomplish.

One example from my life that has allowed me to understand the toxicity of comparison is from a time when I was engaged to Brent. We were looking for an apartment to live in, and I was upset that every complex that we were interested in, was over our budget. Although it was not a big deal to Brent, I was angry and honestly pretty bitter. This was because one of the girls that I followed on social media was at the same point in life with me, but somehow had everything she wanted "handed to her". We were around the same age, both getting ready to be married, and so on. How was she able to get married just as young as me, attend College, afford the cute clothes and fancy makeup, AND buy a house?? I spent a few days complaining and being angry because I allowed myself to believe that I was not successful, all because this girl and her soon to be husband were so far ahead of me. It really was an issue, and Brent definitely noticed it. So, he sat me down and helped me realize that I needed to change the attitude I was carrying with me. He told me that no one is going to advertise the tough parts about life, and there are always going to be people who are a step ahead of you. As important as that was to hear, it was what he said after all of that, that opened my eyes. He simply said "It does not matter, it is not relevant to your life. There is no reason to spend time being angry about someone else's situation, especially when you have so much in your life to accomplish and work towards."

He was absolutely right.

It is easy to see something you like and want it. And the second you see someone else has it, there is a small piece of disappointment. But why? What is the point? During times like this, may we stop the negative thoughts and feelings, and turn it around IMMEDIATELY.

But how?

In times like this, REMEMBER. Remember the things in life that you do have. Maybe it is the relationships in your life, or the blessing of a talent you carry. Remember the great friends and positive influences around you. Be happy for those around you who are successful, and see them as someone you admire instead of someone you envy. After all, you never know what they have been through or how hard it was to get to the place that they are in.

There will always be something you would enjoy having but cannot at this moment in your life. There will always be a not-so-fun situation in your life that you wish you did not have to go through. There will always be someone you find prettier, happier, wealthier, or more outgoing. The list could go on and on - but let's change that! What about the list of things that you DO have?

This is the month of Thanksgiving. So let's all remember to be thankful for the things in life that we do have and smile for the things that are to come. Let's also remember to be thankful for the freedom we have to work towards our own dreams and one day accomplish them ourselves. Let's remember to appreciate, love, and be happy for those around us and cheer them on, as they do the same. Comparison brings jealousy, and jealousy quickly turns into envy, so let's stay away from those! I promise that you will find life so much more enjoyable and you will even become a happier person.

I'm cheering you on!