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Tips & Tricks to Self Love.
1. Understand that mistakes are necessary .
- So many times, I have noticed that one of the biggest struggles we face is allowing ourselves to move past and forgive ourselves for our own mistakes. What we need to remember during these times is that we were placed here on earth to learn and grow from those mistakes. What we do not realize is that it is what we do after making those mistakes that matter. Are we going to continue being hard on ourselves and feel sorry, or will we stand up, forgive ourselves, and do better? The decision is ultimately yours.
2. DO NOT COMPARE
Something that I struggled with all throughout High School was comparison. I compared the way I looked, dressed, and even acted from other girls. I hated that I wasn't the "party type" and that I wasn't as "popular" as everyone else. I was embarrassed to answer the questions of what I did during the weekend with watching a movie or playing soccer, because I knew that there was a party that I wasn't invited to. I have a very strong belief that comparison is one of Satan's TOP tools to lead us closer to him and further away from Christ.
I truly believe that if this world was filled with people who have nothing but similarities, we would be living a very dull, plain, and boring life.
Sure! She is beautiful, but SO ARE YOU. She has an awesome personality, but SO DO YOU. She has a cute outfit on today, SO DO YOU. She had fun this weekend? Good for her! You had fun with what you did TOO.
3. PEP TALKS
Some people may think that this is silly, but it definitely works! About two years ago, I started saying little motivational/positive thoughts to myself as I got ready for the day. Whether it is something as small as, "Your eyeliner is on point today" or as big as "I know this is going to be a busy day, but you are strong enough to get through this." , it matters. And it makes a difference.
4. BEING KIND TO OTHERS
I am going to be pretty honest here. One thing that I have noticed about myself is that the more I compare myself to others, the more judgmental and harsh I can be when it comes to my thoughts about them. I know that sounds awful, but it's true. And as much as I hate to say it, I know that I am not the only one.
Just this last week, I saw comments under one of my family member's Instagram pictures with words filled with hate from some random girl. Not only were the comments rude, but so was the message she went out of her way to send to this family member. Her reason? Jealousy. Jealousy truly does bring out the worst in people and I hope that when we are feeling that way about someone, that we simply turn our back to those unnecessary thoughts and realize that they are worth JUST AS MUCH as you. I was SO unbelievably happy to find that after the rude comments my family member received, there were many more comments filled with nothing but and love and support for her. Long story short, jealousy will do nothing but ruin you.
The more we build others up and the more we accept that other people around us are just as beautiful, kind, and talented, the more we are actually building ourselves up as well! Which brings my next point ...
5. Service!
There are countless church talks that speak about the blessings of service! One of the most popular things that I have heard people say after helping others is that after serving someone else, they themselves feel blessed. Not only because some service projects allow us to realize what we have things that other's don't, but also because serving others is something Christ would do. When you are being Christ-like, you are filled with the Spirit. The Spirit brings happiness, love, and what we all need, comfort.
"As we lose ourselves in the service of others, we discover our own lives and our own happiness." - Dieter F. Uchtdorf
6. Pray to know your worth.
Guys, I cannot express to you HOW MUCH THIS WORKS! There is no one that loves you as much as your Father in Heaven. In High School, I was very different than the other girls. I hated that I wasn't invited to parties, I didn't know how to dress or do my makeup the way the other girls could, and I wasn't as smart as I wanted to be. Bottom line, I compared, I tore myself down, I allowed myself to believe that I wasn't worth much. There was this night that I remember feeling TERRIBLE about myself and who I was. I reached a point where I was in my room crying and finding zero solutions to fix the way I was feeling. After trying so many different things, the LAST effort I made worked. You know what that was? Prayer. Funny, because after hours and even weeks of trying, it only took about 5 MINUTES to feel better about who I was. No, I did not 100% , completely love who I was in those 5 minutes, but I knew I was worth MUCH more than I was telling myself. After creating a habit of praying to my Father in Heaven and asking Him more often about my worth, I came close to a compete 180 on the way I saw myself.
7. Personal Scripture Study
There are so many things I could say about the power that the scriptures have, but there is a quote that I found that says it perfectly.
"Scriptures are like packets of light that illuminate our minds and give place to guidance and inspiration on high. They can become the key to open the channel to communion with our Father in Heaven and His Beloved Son, Jesus Christ." -Richard G. Scott (Oct. 2011)
8.Gossip
It can be really easy to listen to the gossip that we hear about others, but when it is gossip about ourselves, it is VERY easy to question who we are. Whether it be someone attacking your character or if it is someone attacking your looks, DO NOT LISTEN. I cannot express to you the extreme importance of this final tip. We must respect, love, and care for ourselves and stop allowing the world from telling us who we are and what we are worth. If someone says something in person, turn your back and walk away. Don't think twice about what they said and if you cannot seem to let it go, reflect back onto tip #6. If it is hate through social media, block them. You do not deserve to hear or see those things, but when you do, allow yourself to tune it out!
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I cannot promise you that you will feel 100% better the second you try any of these, but I can promise you that as you make these simple steps to love yourself, you will develop a better understanding, acceptance, and love for who you are. So stop comparing, Begin to serve, grow closer to your Father in Heaven by praying and reading the scriptures. Ask him who you are what you're worth. Allow yourself to move on from mistakes and not to hold back on moving forward. I hope and pray that if you are struggling with loving the person you are, that one day you are able to see that you are lovely, and you are so unconditionally loved. Not only by our Father in Heaven, your friends and family, but also loved by Yourself.